A Pig's Tale

Remember the childhood story bout the three little pigs? Yep... Those three who build their houses using straw, wood and bricks. Then the big bad wolf came to huff and puff and blew their house down? Here is Version 1, Version 2. Somehow I prefer Version 2.
But never mind, I create Version 3, extracted from Version 2 and improvised. Read on for it. Italics are the original story.


There was an old sow aka Pui Tai with three little pigs aka Ba Kut, Pui Ba and Ba Chor.
and as she had not enough to keep them, she sent them out to seek their fortune. As Pui Tai prefers to live the life of a tai tai, playing heavily in the stock market and dry swimming with her other piggy kakis. One fine day, she lost a lot of money. So much that she could no longer upkeep her piglets. She felt that it was time they found their own home and depend on herself. She still wanted to keep the remaining money for retirement, manicure and pedicure, facials and spas. She called for a family meeting and told them, "kinah eh, lao bu play share lost money. You all old enough to work, time to support me so that I can retire and learn line dance at the nearest sty."

Ba Kut was the first to leave. Went off met a man with a bundle of straw, and said to him, "Please, man, Uncle, pity me can? My lao bu no money ask me to come out and work. I have no money, no house no food give me that straw to build me a house. Can?"
Which the man did, The ah peh see him skinny skinny ribs all protruding, decided to pity him and give him what he needed and the little pig built a house with it.
Presently came along a wolf aka She Lang, and knocked at the door, and said, "Little pig, little pig, let me come in."
To which Ba Kut answered, "No, no, by the hair of my chiny chin chin."
The wolf She Lang then answered to that, "Then I'll huff, and I'll puff my cig , and I'll blow your house in. set your house on fire. "
So he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew set his house on fire in.
Weather wasn't favorable to him and soon it started to rain. All he ate was ba kut teh. and ate up the little pig.
After She Lang ate Ba Kut up, he wasn't satisfied. He thought to himself. Ka na sai, this pig so skinny. I want meat not bones!

The second little pig Pui Ba met a man an ah soh with a bundle of furze [sticks], and said, "Please, man, Auntie, pity me can? My lao bu no money ask me to come out and work. I have no money, no house no food give me that furze to build a house. Can?" Which the man did, But ah soh had a condition Pui Ba had to satisfy. Seeing that Pui Ba so fat fat cute cute chubby chubby, she couldn't resist and wanted to pinch his cheecks and went "aiiiyooooo soooo cutteeee!!!" before giving him what he needed and the pig built his house.
Then along came the wolf She Lang, and said, "Little pig, little pig, let me come in."
"No, no, by the hair of my chiny chin chin."

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff my cig, and I'll blow your house in. set your house on fire."
So he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew set his house on fire in. "
This time, he managed to get char siew ba.

After She Lang ate up Pui Ba, he still wasn't satisfied. He thought to himself. Ka na sai... This pig full of san zhang ba (2 layer fats, 1 layer meat). Tomorrow siao liao lor. Got medical check up, sure high blood pressure, high cholestrol and diabetics.

The next day, after medical check up, doctor diagnosed She Lang with all 3 problems and adviced to watch his diet.

The third little pig Ba Chor met a construction site foreman with a load of bricks, and said, "Please, man, Yo sup dawg! My ma has been baggin on me to get my ass out of my crib to get a life. I don't wanna dis my ma ya know. Do you dig my plight? Could ya give drop me those bricks to build a house my crib with."
So the man replied "No prob dude. Anytime." He gave him the bricks, and he built his house with them.
So the wolf She Lang came, as he did to the other little pigs, and said, "Little pig, little pig, let me come in."
"No, no, by the hair of my chiny chin chin."
Ba Chor was afraid that his fate would be similar to this brothers. He tried to hide.
"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in."
Well, he huffed, and he puffed, and he huffed and he puffed, and he puffed and huffed; but he could not get the house down.

When he found that he could not, with all his huffing and puffing, blow the house down,

She Lang blamed his lack of energy cause he ate a pig with no meat. Blamed his lack of stamina and unhealthy lifestyle cause he ate a pig with lots of fats. He swore to come back another day. Ba Chor on the other hand, started to build up his stamina by doing sit ups.

He also went to collect the debris from his brother's houses. He collected the straw which he made into the blinds

and wood for his parquet flooring. He even had time to build an additional level to his house.



After working out a bit, he was back to get his dinner, he said, "Little pig, I know where there is a nice field of turnips."
"Where?" said the little pig Ba Chor .
"Oh, in Mr. Smith's home field, and if you will be ready tomorrow morning I will call for you, and we will go together and get some for dinner."
"Very well," said the little pig Ba Chor, "I will be ready. What time do you mean to go?"
"Oh, at six o'clock."
Well, the little pig Ba Chor got up at five, and got the turnips before the wolf She Lang came (which he did about six) and who said, "Little pig, are you ready?"
The little pig Ba Chor said, "Ready! I have been and come back again, and got a nice potful for dinner."
Ba Chor rested for the rest of the day while the wolf went to plan his next cunning trick.


The wolf She Lang felt very angry at this, but thought that he would be up to the little pig somehow or other, so he said, "Little pig, I know where there is a nice apple tree."
"Where?" said the pig Ba Chor .
"Down at Merry Garden," replied the wolf She Lang, "and if you will not deceive me I will come for you, at five o'clock tomorrow and get some apples."
Well, the little pig Ba Chor bustled up the next morning at four o'clock, and went off for the apples, hoping to get back before the wolf came; but he had further to go, and had to climb the tree, so that just as he was coming down from it, he saw the wolf coming, which, as you may suppose, frightened him very much.
When the wolf came up he said, "Little pig, what! Are you here before me? Are they nice apples?"
"Yes, very," said the little pig. "I will throw you down one." And he threw it so far, that, while the wolf was gone to pick it up, the little pig jumped down and ran home.
Ba Chor was so afraid of She Lang that he quickly ran up to the second floor, dropping his cap.


The next day the wolf She Lang came again, and said to the little pig Ba Chor , "Little pig, there is a fair at Shanklin this afternoon. Will you go?"
"Oh yes," said the pig Ba Chor, "I will go. What time shall you be ready?"
"At three," said the wolf She Lang . So the little pig Ba Chor went off before the time as usual, and got to the fair, and bought a butter churn, which he was going home with, when he saw the wolf She Lang coming. Then he could not tell what to do. So he got into the churn to hide, and by so doing turned it around, and it rolled down the hill with the pig in it, which frightened the wolf so much, that he ran home without going to the fair.

He went to the pig's house, and told him how frightened he had been by a great round thing which came down the hill past him.
Then the little pig Ba Chor said, "Ha, I frightened you, then. I had been to the fair and bought a butter churn, and when I saw you, I got into it, and rolled down the hill. Didn't you see the stone pig outside? Notice the smug on its face? That's my expression right now."


Then the wolf was very angry indeed, and declared he would eat up the little pig, and that he would get down the chimney after him. When the little pig saw what he was about, he hung on the pot full of water, and made up a blazing fire, and, just as the wolf was coming down, took off the cover, and in fell the wolf because he was too tired from climbing up 2 stories and on an empty stomach; so the little pig Ba Chor put on the cover again in an instant, boiled him up, and ate him for supper, and lived happily ever afterwards.